i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
