We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am available for nakedness
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
