i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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