were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
