So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
