So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
