dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
