I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
