I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
