Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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