didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
