Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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