Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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