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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
