high people should be assigned attendants
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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