Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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