she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
