There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
