yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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