I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
