One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
