He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
