on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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