why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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