Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
