when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
