Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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