i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
