Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
