Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I sprained my soul last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
