There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
