my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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