No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
