pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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