At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
