Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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(512): View more from Texas

I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.

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(207): View more from Maine

her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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(319): View more from Iowa

I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.

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(863): View more from Florida

Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.

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(949): View more from California

I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.

(404): View more from Georgia

First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it

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