Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I intend to get homeless drunk
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
