She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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