been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
