if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
