i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
