Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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