she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
