yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's never too late to be topless.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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