am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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