I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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