I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
