I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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