we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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