i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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