is your mom at the bar?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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